With You (I Can Feel Again)
by precious-passenger
Summary: Set during the episode 'Wonder-ful'. Kurt's happy that Burt's cured.


A/N: This fic is dedicated to my wonderful friend _MyMagentaPeach_ for being so wonderful. This is for you, dear.

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Progress isn't waking up one day and realize everything you've ever known, every problem you had was now gone and replaced by a fairytale version of happily ever after. There is no happy ending, well, at least not in this world. You shouldn't compare your situation with others, because they hadn't had the exact experiences Kurt had.

It was realizing that getting the tenth score in the class didn't mean that he was a failure and should consider giving up. But, try and see that it also meant that he was better than the rest of the thirty students.

Progress wasn't living his life Ambien-free, but the fact that he got a good night's sleep most of the nights thanks to it.

They'd gotten out of the doctor's office with their arms around each other and Kurt feels like he can breathe again. He'd been hurt and almost terrified when Burt told him to stop worrying about the color of his clothes. But, right now, at this moment, nothing was more important that his family, from his own flesh and blood would be alive. Carole called Finn on the phone right after they got out, as she'd promised the teen that she'd tell him the doctor's examination results as soon as they know. They are all laughing and crying, their voices mixing together to create a bunch of incoherent words. But, Finn understood and soon they can hear cheers coming from the other side of the phone.

Carole and Burt kiss and keep on crying happy tears until they're escorted out of the hospital by a nurse who didn't seem to get their overjoyed exclaims.

But, the edginess is still present inside Kurt and he's almost glued to his father's side, watching him, alive and breathing, no longer slowly fading away... cured.

The relief and love that floods Kurt the remaining days of the stay was indescribable.

Blaine comes to the house to visit Burt after a while, having texted Kurt beforehand to receive the good news and asking permission to visit them. Blaine has been overjoyed lately by the marriage equality in New York and Kurt can't help but feel a bit depressed that the one he used to dream to have this experience with, getting married in New York, is nothing more than a fantasy.

Kurt remembers the months after breaking up with Blaine. How much he hated himself, how he wanted nothing more than cry. There were days that he'd wake up and stay in his bed, just cry until about an hour or so, and still feel like it isn't enough. Kurt wanted to cry until his eyes were burning, until sleep would come and take the pain away. He was mourning his lost love and the future he planned and that hurt.

But then, he got better at handling it. He'd have punched anyone who had the audacity to comfort him with the overly cliché expression of 'time heals everything' but to an extent time was the thing that made him grieve and then attempt to pull himself back together. Burt had always told him that he was strong and in Kurt's opinion that was a burden he'd have to carry. He wanted nothing more than to stop fighting and just be normal, give up on NYADA, no more boyfriends, no more Blaine…But, the feeling of hurt and utter pain dissipated with time and his head cleared.

He'd wake up each morning and gave himself a pep talk in front of the mirror. Rachel Berry-style.

Only he wasn't looking for confidence to give the most important performance of his life, he was just trying to convince himself to start to love himself.

_You are beautiful, you are strong and you are loved._

These were the three sentences he'd repeat to himself every morning and one day he started to believe it, if not hundred percent, but maybe about seventy nine percent. One day, after receiving a bad critique it was barely twenty percent, but there were days when he was praised or someone appreciated his talent by saying something simple it was as if his heart soared to the sky, it was a full ninety percent and he truly believed that he was beautiful, strong and loved.

Then his father fell ill and the news had been the reason he slipped from his self-made recovery. Being away from dad and not getting enough updates fast enough had slowly triggered his anxiety to a level that he'd turned to some questionable tendencies to comfort himself.

But now, Kurt drew the annoying voice to the back of his mind, the one that told him the contents of his lunch weren't color coordinated or how his shoes weren't tied three times. He knew it would be back, but counted the moment as a small victory.

When Blaine arrived, he and Kurt had hugged for several long minutes, Kurt drawing even more comfort not from his ex-boyfriend, but his best friend…Blaine kept rubbing circles on his back, uneven from the emotion they were both experiencing from the proximity.

Kurt didn't allow himself to think or dwell. He held onto him for one moment longer and for the first time in forever saw the color of Blaine's eyes, how it shined with affection and focused on the shape of his nose….then his lips, it seemed that he had forgotten the color of every part of Blaine and now he was here, bright and colorful.

And it was beautiful.

Kurt knew he had to preserve this moment, of seeing light and color so he leaned down and pecked Blaine lightly on the lips and leaned his head against Blaine's shoulder.

_Friends do kiss. _

He chuckled to himself and took Blaine's hand, guiding him to the kitchen to meet Burt.


End file.
